Forget About the Self Care To-Do Lists: Find Your Own Pleasure
by Lisha H.
Image courtesy of Pexels.
Play more sports, eat healthy, go to a spa, do your skincare routine...When we hear “self-care,” we unconsciously pressure ourselves with many to-do lists. It has me questioning however, if self-care is supposed to be about understanding your deep consciousness and checking in with yourself, then why are we labelling ourselves? What is self-care supposed to be?
Until last Spring, my self-care routine usually included doing a face mask for a special day, taking a bath with bath salts, doing an extra workout, buying expensive beauty products, etc. Why? I’ve noticed how the word self-care has an overrated and misleading meaning.
While social media plays a significant part in our daily life, it affects the vision of my lifestyle in both good and bad ways. On some days, I’d find myself very motivated and creative by watching some influencer’s creative content. Other days, I’d pity myself for not reaching where I expected to be because I compared my life stage to the others on social media who seem to have a beautiful, stable and perfect life.
That’s when I realized how self-care related content on social media is so filtered. So many content creators and influencers show us the perfect morning routine, night routine, or “the self-care day.” This type of content made me feel pressured. I thought my life wasn’t enough because of this idea they gave me of what self-care should look like.
Social media taught me that self-care is about having a bubble bath, doing a face mask and spending money on some luxury spa treatment. The truth is however, self-care is about finding your personal pleasure and connecting with your consciousness on a deeper level. It can be as simple as going for a walk, sitting on the couch with your favorite tea to enjoy the silence, journaling, listening to your go-to playlists to express your feelings by riding on the rhythm, or even spending time alone in the park. It never needed to be so luxurious. You never needed to spend money on self-care.
Happiness, satisfaction and contentment don’t come from what you spend your money on. It comes from how you take care of yourself and living your life more mindfully.
How can we start our self-care journey?
First, you can try practicing meditation and mindfulness. I learned this from a close friend who practices performing tea ceremonies. We spend quality time together in silence for about an hour and then taste Chinese tea. Learn to enjoy the quiet.
Second, find an exercise you love to do every week. Not to train yourself, but to enjoy body movement. Think of an activity only for your pleasure. By doing so, you’ll feel more freedom in choosing what type of exercise and how much you want to do. This method motivated me the most. I’m not a regular gym person, but for the first time in my life I exercised consistently. I no longer pressured myself with thoughts like, “I have to go to the gym because I booked and there is a cancellation fee” or “I need to keep up the records and the goals.” I’m not insisting on not having goals, but because I wanted to enjoy moving the body freely, not having a particular purpose but instead a rough goal such as running or doing pilates once or twice a week, helped me stay motivated and enjoy moving my body.
Third, begin to prioritize home cooking. Eating out and ordering take-out is fun, but to get enough nutrition, home cooking works the best. I find cooking very therapeutic, thinking about what you want to cook and cutting vegetables, cooking rice and frying the colorful ingredients in the pan. I truly enjoy this space and the moment of cooking some comfort food for myself.
Last but not least, become a plant parent. Plants are very close to my heart. Whenever I’m not feeling great, am stressed or unmotivated, my plants are seemingly not thriving. They’re some of the most empathetic creatures on the planet. Taking care of plants is also very therapeutic. My bare hands touch the soil and leaves, reminding me of when I was a little girl who used to go to the playground every afternoon to enjoy the outside and nature.
Being mindful and investing in your well-being is at the heart of life. How you take care of yourself is 100% up to what you like, but you can try the practices above if you need help figuring out where to start. Then, return back to the basics and remember/imagine the life we had before social media. Be present.
